Wednesday, 28 December 2011

budak pandai selalu perfectionist..!

post hari ni confirm bukan post yang emo2 mahupun jiwang2 tak tentu pasal..
tapi, ni lah kenyataan!
budak-budak pandai di sekeliling aku semuanya suka benda2 yang PERFECT!
tutorial HARUS 10/10
report HARUS 10/10
experiment HARUS dapat graf yang paling cantik..
percentage error HARUS 0.01%
ambik bacaan HARUS yang paling tepat.
garisan antara dua titik HARUS paling tepat..kalu tidak,
ambil bacaan sekali lagi..
walau masa untuk buat experiment tinggal 1/2 jam lagi...
letih juga pada mulanya untuk aku terima + berhadapan dengan semua ni..
tambah-tambah lagi, setiap minggu ada 3 experiment...

i've never fed up with this bunch of people..
they thought me how to be to be the best.
yup, it's competitive, but through this I will able to discover my capability..
(sound very inspirational, huh?)
don't blame them..
because the are BUDAK PANDAI..
and YES, they are always PERFECTIONIST!


Tuesday, 27 December 2011

i'm totally out of mood!

this couple of weeks maybe is a heaven for certain people..but mine, like hell!
yelah, 2 minggu berturut-turut cuti hari isnin..
dua-dua minggu juga balik...fine.
totally not jealous of them..!
but my case is different..
feel  like very exhausted this week..although baru start kuliah tadi.!
i know, this time my post mostly depressing punya cerita..
(bcoz sblom ni sgt bermotivasi, kn?)
 i just feel frustrated..of not spending enough time with my family last week..
nak balik pon, nasib tak tertinggal train gara2 rushing tak tentu pasal..!

i will get easily sad when my family is unhappy..
*rasa nak nangis suda!
and luckily, blog ni da tak dikunjungi sesiapa..bagus!
another reasons nak tulis apa2 di blog yang berhabukk..
dan mungkin juga sebab hormon yg tak stabil, rasa emo tak kenal tempat dan masa..
rasa down sgt...may i need anybody's shoulder to cry on?
(blah la Fatin)!

enough!!! esok ada test Biology...

"all is fine..# 3Idiots"

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

I am mad at myself..

I am mad at myself..
I am mad at myself of not being the best in everything..
That i have to rely on somebody to be good in anything..
That i have to put myself away..just for being someone i’m not use to be.

I am mad at myself..
Of not giving full attention in the lecture..
Of not understand what i have learned..
That i am doing badly in my tutorials..
Yes, i am mad at myself..

I am mad at myself..
When people loss respect on me..
When people start ignoring me..
When i explained, they barely able to understand me..
That just made me a bad techer..a weak student-inside me..

I mad at myself..
That sometimes i regret of the offer to Russia..
And keep saying- that is the past. Forget it!
And I just need to move on by saying, this is where the reality is..
Which being a doctor is not a guarantee..
Oh...i am i  dilemma for things that i decided by my own feelings.

I mad of myself..
Of why i am keeping writing this and not study...
How ungrateful i am! For the all things He gave to me..
All these unease feeling, only His word could comfort me..
“Ya Allah, do give me strength to face and through all this..with succeed”

*result of being mad...

Friday, 16 December 2011

it's been a while...

it's been a while,
for me of not updating this blog...
and to be exact, i've been here for almost a half year.
i gain many new things..
new friends, new lesson, new experience, and not to say new shoes and cloths (i recently shopped..)
but a NO, NO of new boyfriend..i mean, the special one..

it's been a while,
for me not to back home..
i miss them so much that i couldn't describe it..
but, it's for my own achieve what i want in the future..

it's been a while,
for me to teach myself that 'sometimes you have to surrender for others for both goodness'
yes, i learn that a lot here..

this is quite boring..i know it. because.. i't's been a while!
*blame me.....................................................................

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Oh Malaysia!!!

as a Malaysian..
i've always been proud and grateful to live in such a peaceful country..
we are multi-racial- Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sikh and more..
i used to have them as my bestfriends..
Sukhdip, Haashini, Mui Kwan, Vaneesa, Nadia..
and we talk in the same language- Bahasa Malaysia!..

well, Malaysia had a lot to talk too!
too mannnyyyy...

besides, i don't even need to go abroad for vacation or anything else..
as Malaysia have it too!
we produce our own strawberries even though Malaysia is located on the equator..
we have sandy i love Langkawi Island!!! 
i always thought our family vacation last year was somewhere out of Malaysia..
the scene was completely different from the ordinary. i felt like i was in Bali or Phuket..
(although, never been there..)
and in the cable car was the best!

met the Egypt couple..we were in the same cable car.

and if you think when you don't want to go abroad 
because you are goin' to see the 'hugging' and 'kissing' scene in the public..
NO..M'sia also got!
don't need to spend thousands to go abroad to watch such scene..
you can watch it FREE!!
(tak tau samada nk bngga atau x..)

i'm not being porno or whatever in this Ramadhan month,
but i'm sad..angry.. and frustrated!!
in such a beautiful month, there is still a lot of maksiat out there...
yes, setan are gone but 'nafsu' is still there...
that couple is Malay plak tu! 
couples yg holding hands don't say lar...berlambak!!
pkai tudung jer lebih....tapi, batas tak tau!
mostly girl yg mcm ni pkai tudung semata-mata ikut trend..
style lar konon..
konon alim! tapi, short sleeves..
siap ber'legging'!
benci betol aku dgn org2 mcm ni....
da lar, kurang plak pahala puasa aku!!...


Friday, 5 August 2011

and finally...

yup.. finally, Mid-sem test is ovveerrrrrrr!!!
(i know, it just a 'mid-sem'..not 'final-sem' yet. but, hey! at least, i can know how is my performance within this two months here.)
suddenly, i want to write this in English..why?? because i'm in R3 group..and not N1/N2/N3 groups yer!
most of the students in that group are communicating in fully English..not "Melayu-English=Manglish'..and they are said to be elit students..(i guess so..)
off course, sometimes i feel ashamed or the best word is 'looked down' by this bunch of groups..
as they have more tutorials than us..
the most importantly is, their tutors are among the lecturers!
can you see the 'benefits' of being members of that group..

ok, back to the point! 
mid sem is over..
overall, i quite satisfy with performance except for Chemistry and Algebra...
(although, things already happen...)
but, i'm sure i could do better if i did a lot of Biology and Physics.
just wait and see lar the results.!.
either cry of happiness or vice versa..

Friday, 8 July 2011

motivated v.s give up...

.....being here it's like a mad person......
sekejap happy..
sekejap lagi depressed..
ada hari, excited-
rasa nak lompat n menari 'xi shua shua' jer..
ada hari lain, frustrated-
rasa nak terjun dari balkoni kolej pun ade..
ble tutorial siap-
hati berbunga-bunga, rasa dunia ni ana yang punya..
tapi ble tutorial x siap,
mula lar stay up..smpai bengkak-bengkak mata..

hari yang depressed adalah
bila orang lain faham apa yang lecturer ajar di bilik kuliah,
 tapi aku masih merangkak-rangkak menangkap apa yang diajar..

bila orang lain dapat markah full mark untuk tutorial,
tapi aku kurang drpd diorang..

bila orang lain santai sakan jer pagi petang tp siap jer tutorial.
tapi aku pagi petang study..tak siap2 jgak tutorialnye..

bila orang lain dpt jumpe lecturer, tanya itu ini..
aku nk tanya jgak..tapi, nak tanya ape??

ada hari, memang rasa nak GIVE UP jer-nak balik rumah, nak sekolah balik, nak kawan2 lama, nak cikgu dulu yang ajar..
sebab kat sini rasa tak dihargai, tak dikenali..
pelajaran susah la, lecturer ajar laju la..

tapi, tu semua alasan jer..alasan tak nak berusaha.

bila tak tau matlamat sebanar dtg sini..
bila tak kenang jasa mak ayah..
bila tak ingat pengorbanan blaja penat2 kat sekolah sebab stu jer- 
(bila da masuk sini, senang2 jer nak give up?
gedik lar!)

*bila manusia depressed, barulah dia teringat Allah..(dan aku pun mcm tu)
maka, aku pun start baca Yassin..
masha-Allah..hati rasa tenang gler n bersemangat..

so, moral of the story..jgn give up cpt sgt..sebab segala benda ada permulaan dan pengakhiran..
bukan setiap hari 'mendung'..dan bukan setiap hari 'terang'..
nak 'mendung' or 'terang' tu,,kita yang tentukan..


Friday, 17 June 2011

various..this time!

wah, msih smpat nk ber'blogging' wlalupun da msuk pasum??
(siapa nk tlg jwp ni?)..
lepak k.. 
sume tutorial da siap..
plus, td da cover for Biology 2..or FQAH0112-official code for that subject here..
lega gler sume keje da siap..alhmdulillah..
kjp g nk study Physics 2 plak..waduh!! 
please MOOD..tolonglah jengah kjp kt dalam hati ni.!!
barulah bermakna skit ape yg di 'study'..
klau x, stakat 'study' je lar..spatah haram pun x pham apa yg buku tu tulis..

hari ni,aku nak tlis mcm2
sbb ni 1st weekend aku kt sni.
(wlaupun da 3mnggu di UM, 2mnggu brturut2 aku balik rmh n rmh mk sdare aku..
...n sbb mggu dpn jgk da start lar 'kehidupan sebenar seorang pelajar PASUM'..
dan mmg mggu ni ramai yg blek ke kmpung halaman..
termasuklah roomate aku..
maka, tidurlah aku berseorangan malam tadi..
(tak tau apa kena ayat gler skema hari ni!)

1st thing, i would say that the life here quite DIFFERENT
(kuliah dismpaikan gne power point | xmcm sekolah, gne whire board)
(bilik kuliah sgt sejuk | kt sekolah gne kipas..)
(sume lecturer abis2 ade Master n PhD n kebnyakkan dipnggil Dr. so, kne pnggil ikut pngkat ye! | kt sekolah ckgu dipnggil 'cikgu' or hbis2 pun Pn. or En..)
(ade hmpir >400 student dlm lecture hall/dewan kuliah | kt sekolah, satu kelas x smpai 40org pun)
(xde buku teks dibekalkan/SPBT.maka, kena bli sndiri based on yg direcommend oleh lecturer | sume dpt pnjaman buku teks-save duit!)
(sume subject semakin details n mcm tk prnah trfkir pun psl bnda tu ade= complex number, quantum number | belajar basic jer..)

(roomate dari different background n personality | roomate aku kt rmh, adik ak jer)
(breakfast, lunch, dinner- beli sendiri. pndai2 lar jimat | mak akn sediakan semua)
(pagi2, jam loceng yg kejutkan..nsib baik kalu dpt roomate yg dpt tlg kjutkan, kalau tak..dua2 terlajak! | mak yg akn tlg kejutkan)
(basuh baju stiap hari..dan bsuh sndiri.kalu mlas,ade jer kdai dobi bwh tu! | stiap 3hri kut..xambik tau pun sblom ni!)
(sumenye based on youself, xde sape nk tlg kerahkan dri sruh study..ade ke roomate yg baik sgt sruh roomate dy study? | mk jgk yg sruh study...)      

yg plg tak tahan, aku pun da mcm DIFFERENT PERSON jer..
roomate sblah tnye, aku ade brape adik bradik?
 aku ckp lar, 2 orang. aku ank slung n ade adik pompuan.
n ni ayt dia- "patutlah Fatin lemah lembut".
what?? lemah lembut ke aku!
Allah jer tau mcm mne prasaan aku ble dye ckp cm tu..
xtau nak gelak ke, nangis ke, terkejut ke..
 ker aku ni 'multi-personality'??..
hahaa..amacam? aku ni nmpak cm sgt negative right? mcm hmpir sume aku x ske...
tipu lar!!
ade jer benda yg aku enjoy kt sni..
(trying to be positive, at last!)
1. aku enjoy jer basuh baju stiap hari! hahah..xsngke yg bsuh baju ni best sbnrnye..
(aku mmg ske bnda aku enjoy kt bilik forensik time prgrm pndedahan krjaya hr tu..)
2. chemistry, calculus, algebra & jer!..biology xyh ckp lar. confirm best. pysics..ehmm. soon kut!. insyaAllah..
3. cm best jer bunyi ambulance stiap hri..sbb sbelah pusat perubatan UM kn..
(bkn aku enjoy org sakit stiap hri k! tp, dktor dpt rawat n tlg slamtkan bnyak nyawa..)
4. stiap mlm mkn mcm2 nasi goreng- nsi greng cendawan? daging merah?..mcm2 lar, smpai xtw nk mkn pe..

tp, rmai ckp yg msuk pasum best sbb dkt ngn mid-valley..
jgn tnye aku..
sbb, aku xtw! entah?. aku xprnh pegi..
n insyaAllah xnk pun..
stkt ni, aku g Puduraya jer sbb teman roomate bli tiket nk blek..
trljak nk balik tu, lalu Petaling Street..
n stkt 'lalu' je lar..
xde budget n sbb ak sedar betapa bnyk pngorbanan mk bpk aku..
pngorbanan duit, xyh ckp lar..n mcm2 lar pengorbanan nk membesarkan ank sorg ni
(xnk ckp bnda ni..rse ngis jer!)

*so, pnjang kan...sumenye da d luahkan..enjoy!!*

-enjoying the evening by the lake-

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

just enjoy it...

fuh! ni hari 1st aku rasa lega n enjoy giler di PASUM...
plek kn..pdhal hari khamis is the most pack day for the 1st and 2nd week here...
klas start pukul 8 until 5..
tapi, aku enjoy n happy gler...
mostly sebab paham sgale ape yg diajar tadi..
Calculus, Chemistry, Trigonometry.. n will be continue pukul 3-5 bcos chemistry pnye class yg spatutnye start pkul 2 is postponed..
tau, lpas ni lg pack..
ni pon kre relax lg...
takpe, just enjoy and appreciate everything that is meant for you..

maybe aku rasa puas gak sebab baru terasa belong to Pasum..cuz sblom ni aku asyik fkir yang aku BUKAN WARGA UM..gara-gara reject offer JPA to Russia..
lepas ni, AKU WARGA PASUM..
no more low-self esteem ke hape ke...

lastly n finally, dapat gak tau name bdk tu..
jnoh mncari, akhirnye jmpa gak...
lega btol.. biarlah Allah je tau ape yg aku cakap ni..

*mle2 aku agk blur disini...aku warm up jek.. biasalah 'engine' tak panas g..
tapi bile da 'panas'.. hopefullu, bleh accelerate with full speed + turbo..
*semoga, segalanya dipermudahkan! 

Monday, 23 May 2011

*this is hard..

today's post should be i'm describing my first day of  Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor, a MUST programme handled by JPA..
so far, i'm enjoying my day..although 70% of the first day is by listen to the ceramah..
i get the real picture of this career, which require-
-full commitment/dedication
-good communication..
and most importantly is 
nothing much has change my decision of being a doctor at the first moment,
but then..
when the Dato' Dr. HSS Amar gave his speech, it change everything..
it is because, he mentioned that those countries that you should not go to further study. sorry, i cannot text them here..but, one of it is Russia..
the thing is, i'm the only student there who got the scholar to further there..!
how come i'm not worry!!
this is not my first time of being frightened to pursue my study there,
because, recently..i have do my personal research..
asking experts' opinion on this..
even, solat istikarah..
and finally, i've made the decision!
of rejecting the scholar..

you may think that i'm stupid..
by letting go this Peluang Keemasan..
hello, studying in the overseas is my dream since i was a kid!
but, i guess i have a solid reason..

1. Russia..i'm most favorable to further to Ireland.but JPA don't offer it.. except for the twinning program.
(the doctor said that the grads are not that incompetent..not all)
2. Those who got the twinning program are all straight 10A+.. i'm most probably the only non-straight A+ who lucky enough to get the scholarship..
3. 6 years in Russia?will fly by next year? i don't think that i've the strength of not to seeing them for almost a year..i'm from sekolah harian only.. 
4. let say, during my first year to Russia, i might change my mind of not taking medicine due to the different environment of study(fully english+ some russian language) (i'm not a predictable person).
5. Malaysia had enough doctors..this is a fact. i just saw it just now! a few years back, we hardly see doctors in wards.if there is doctors, they are old doctors..have grey hair. but, what i see just now..each ward, has about 3-5 doctors/ward.. and all of them are very young!.. can call 'abang' and 'kakak'..

so, to be demanding in this field, i choose to go to UM..for Asasi Sains Hayat..
this is a very tough decision! b'cos everybody expect me to go abroad..especially family..
but, i do this for myself..for my future...
i know i have to struggle to grab 4.00 but, why not?
as long as i'm happy, enjoy the moment of gaining knowledge..
i think i can be fine..especially that i can visit my parents often.
 my main goal is that give all my best!!

Saturday, 21 May 2011

whuaaa!!! T_T

seems that everybody is going to move their life in different direction now...

ade yang proceed to Form 6,
ade yg nak g Matrik esok..( 23rd May)
ade gak yang nk g Pasum this Sunday (29th May)..
and ade gak yang ke UTHM, Johor (1st Jun)
maka, tinggal lar aku sorang2 kat Malim Nawar tercinta ni...
sedih,bila dikenangkan balik...
berkawan sejak sekolah rendah, masih berhingus lar katakan..

masa tu tau main jer..laki, perempuan tak kira...
belajar itu ini, sama-sama..
tak de perasaan apatahlagi nak bercinta..
hidup penuh suka n duka..
yang pasti, semua gembira..
sekarang,rasa nak menangis pun ada!!

tp, sekolah menengah yang paling best..
sebab itulah turning point dlm hidup..
dari budak-budak jd remaja..
 dari budak perempuan biasa,
 jadi anak dara..
dari budak lelaki yang tau main je,
jadi anak teruna..
masa ni lar, rasa teringin nak bercinta..
dlm masa yg sama, masih ade gelak ketawa..
walaupun ramai yg frust menonggeng sebab couple..
at this moment jugak, rmai yg hancur sebab cinta,
tak de jati diri kukuh aku kira..

maaf, aku agk emo pada hari yg sepatutnya gmbira utk kwn2 yang nk smbong blaja..
aku rindu kalian..
aku rndu masa kita bersama..
aku rindu masa kita bergelak ketawa..
aku rindu masa kita bergaduh sbb hal kecil..
aku sedar masa tu tak akan patah balik..
sebab ini lumrah alam..
kita bukan sesiapa nk mengubah hukum alam..
aku rindu Nadia, kawan baik aku yg setia dgar masalah aku..
aku rindu Sukhdip, walaupun kita selalu bergaduh..especially dlm kls Physics..
aku rindu Ros n Ya..terutama masa kita rapat time Form 4
aku rindu Kay, especially time aku agk tomboy..
aku rindu Anin, gadoh2 gak, tp dia jgk yang slalu bg aku semangat..
aku rindu Ain, kita mmg spndapt, still brusaha untk jd best friend..
aku rindu mereka!!
aku rindu dia..~

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Part #1..JPA interview. (The Journey)

mcm da ckp hari tu, ble terasa nk tulis psl benda ni, barulah aku akan tulis...
walaupun da interview berbulan2 yg lepas.. that is 13/April/2011..

pada pagi yang hening itu, aku bangun dengan lemah-longlainya sebab hampir 3 hari struggle mempersiapkan diri utk interview tu..mcm2 benda di print, daripada 'apa yang perlu dipakai, dibuat, tips2 tidak nervous, doa2 lembutkan hati panel sampailah soalan2 ramalan temuduga tu'..
sampaikan solan interview MARA pun aku study!!
(buang masa...)
lepastu, aku pun menyarungkan baju kurung tahun lepas yg berwarna hijau daun pisang, atas cadangan mak aku..katanya, nampak korporat sebab baju tu tersangatlah PLAIN..langsung tk de corak selain manik-manik yg menghiasi tengkuk baju tu...
pergi je adik aku ke sekolah, kami (aku, mama n abah) pun masuk kereta..doa sekali lagi dipanjatkan, semoga segalanya berjalan lancar dan diberkati..
tanpa buang masa, aku pun study balik soalan2 yg mgkin ditanya..jam kat dashboard menunjukkan jam 7.05..'masih awal', kataku dalam hati..krn interview ak bermula pukul 8.50a.m dan aku diminta datang 30 minit awal..
bagi mengelakkan jam, abah pun masuk highway gopeng..
dalam perjalanan tu, tak seorang pun yang bersuara..tak sangka mama ngan abah pun nervous gak macam aku!!
soalan2 mcm Perlembagaan M'sia, nama Perdana Menteri, Pilihan Raya, Lambang-lambang Kebangsaan (Sejarah Form 5) mmg dh lama dlm genggaman aku lar! sebab soalan tu aku da prepare sebelum kluar result SPM lagi..
(amacam?!, aku ikut nasihat ckgu aku..)
utk ke Ipoh, kami sepatutnya masuk ke simpang kiri,. tapi TAK! mungkin time tu abah pun tak perasaan..
kereta meluru je terus..
*meaning, hentian tol yg kami akan turun ialan ke KUALA KANGSAR...
dlm masa tu juga abah baru perasan..jarum jam pun tepat pukul 7.50 masa tu..
bayangkan, nak patah balik dari K.Kangsar ke Ipoh ambil masa berapa lama?
at that particular time, aku redha je..bersalah tidak, kecawa tidak, marah lagi lar tidak..
aku anggap memang tak de rezeki aku..
tapi, abah nekad jugak!! abah nekad masuk lorong bertentangan utk keluar ke Tol Masuk Jelapang..
bayangkan, kereta nak masuk highway, kita orang plak melawan arus!
orang kat tol 2 mmg tk kasi kami lepas..tapi abah sanggup walaupun terpaksa didenda/disaman..!
alhamdulillah!! lepas juga akhirnya..
kami pun keluar ke Jelapang..masa da tunjuk 8.05..tak banyak masa lg sbb kena lapor diri pukul 8.20..

perjlanan dari Jelapang ke Bercham dan ke Ipoh bukan semudah mana..
sbbnya masa tu ialah climax time..semua org nak prgi kerja..
traffic light pun tak menyebelahi kitorang sebab asyik MERAH jek..


Friday, 13 May 2011

syukran ya Allah..

ok, let make this quick..
alhmdulillah tk terhinggaa..
akhirnya, aku dpt tawaran JPA..
course Medic to Russia!
alamak, teringin nk ke Republik Czech sbenarnye!!
tak pe, almdulillah..

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

*fixie!..oh, fixie!!

amacam, tertarik tak ngan title ni..
aku tau, ramai sekarang tgah ber'google' cari pasai fixie..mostly teenagers cam aku!
mcm rakyat m'sia yg lain gak, smlam aku cam LAYAN jek tegok 360 @ TV3..pasal BASIKAL..
kalau area2 perak ni orang tak sebut BA-SI-KAL..tapi BA-SI-KA...mne ntah hilanganya L kt belakang tu..

and sebenarnya, aku pun baru tau pasai fixie ni semalam jek!
my first impression ble tgok fixie ni is AWESOME!! sebab designnya very simple n color dia pun very attractive..
ok, fixie ni asalnya drpd perkataan fixed-gear-bicycle..
maksudnya,kalu kita pakai, tak payah nak susah-payah adjust gear mcm bisikal mountain bike tuh..
meaning, less maintenance..jimat duit $$!
plus, yg menarik perhatian aku ialah, this type of bicyle, does not have brake..or breakless!

nmpak tak, kt depan tu tk de wayar2/cable..that's why la it is breakless. sebabnya, penunggang2 fixie kata,cable tu hanya menambah muatan/pemandangn kpd fixie yg sgt simple..
tak de brake pun masalah juga sebenarnye..
so, sebelum nak tunggang fixie, better buat research dlu cara nak tunggang k!

aku tk nak cerita lebih2 coz mmg lah AKU ade sbijik fixie ni..
tapi, AKU pnye jiran lar.. 
dia baru beli..dlm RM400 kowt kat Pusing, Ipoh..warna putih n biru.
cute tak??!

*teringat time skowla menengah..pergi skolah ramai-ramai ngan kawan..naik basikal.kesian kt abah, terpaksa beli sbijik mountain bike..but then, dyowg bina jejantas atas jalan keretapi..pergilah sekolah jalan kaki!!
(kenangan terindah..)

-this one, very cool..meh?!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011


tetiba je terdetik hati nak tulis post ni selepas tgok rancangan Rawatlah Hati Bangunlah Insan @ Astro Oasis..
tajuk episod semalam lebih kurang mcm kt atas tu la..
kebetulan, terasa topik ni mmg sgt berkaitan ngan diri aku,
nak menyambung pelajaran ke UM..
mmg terasa rendah diri sbb mengenangkan balik yg dapat ke sana smua yg straight A..
silibus kt sana pun dgar katanya lebih susah drpd Matrik..
maka, tak mustahil timbul persoalan : "Mampukah aku??"..
tapi, usrah yang diberi Ustaz Aagim (from Indonesia) akhirnya menyedarkan aku...

*dalam Islam, Allah melarang kita sama sekali 'TINGGI DIRI'

-sebabnya tinggi diri tu = sombong, bongkak, riak dan berlagak (ni aku tambah! mcm dlm Geng Surau..)
-tinggi diri juga menyebabkan kita memandang rendah kat orang lain..
-ingat, tinggi diri berpunca drpd rasa bangga dengan kelebihan diri..padahal, kelebihan tu Allah yang bagi, milik Allah jua..bila Allah nak balik, bila-bila masa je Allah boleh!..
~Contohnya, kepanadaian..jgn sombong dgn kepandaian tu! Riak tk tentu pasal..bangga dapat result yg gila gempak..Sepatutnya, guna kepandaian utk bantu keluarga, kwn2, bangsa dan agama..
Thus, sentiasalah BERSYUKUR dengan lebihan yg Allah dah kasi..dan gunakan kelebihan tu pd tempat dan masa yg sepatutnya..

*dalam Islam pun, Allah pun tak suruh kita 'RENDAH DIRI' :

-rendah diri= asyik nampak kelemahan diri dan anggap orang lain lg hebat..yg teruknya, langsung tak bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah yg lain..
-rasa rendah diri menyebabkan kita depress, tak bersemangat..jadilah orang yg tk guna akhirnya..
~Contoh, kecantikan..Allah bg kita tak cantik ada sebabnya..tengoklah kelebihan lain yg Allah kasi, ..mungkin kita tak cantik, muka tak mcm Siti Nurhaliza or Wardina..tapi, mugkin Allah bagi kita kebijaksanaan, pandai mcm Albert Einstein (konon lar..)..kan dh kira advantage tuh!! muka lawa, tapi akal tak boleh pakai buat ape..
Thus, kita kenalah reflect pd diri..tengok kelebihan diri yang lain. n sentiasa BERSYUKUR..

*Kalau Islam tak kasi kita TINGGI DIRI dan RENDAH DIRI..maka, Islam bg kita apa??
Islam sarankan umatnya 'RENDAH HATI'

-rendah hati=tidak sombong/bangga diri tapi berprestasi...masih bersemangat!
-orang yg rendah hati tidak sombong dgn kelebihan yg Allah kasi dan tidak merendah-rendahkan kekurangan diri yg Allah kasi...sebab yang Maha Sempurna itu kan Allah..dan Allah Maha Adil..masing-masing ada kelebihan dan kekurangan diri..

ubat rasa rendah diri :

1. anggap kelemahan diri sebagai cabaran bukannya halangan..
-contohnya, aku kan takut sgt nk bersaing di PASUM..maka, aku kena study hard, not wasting time,take all the opportunity to prove that i am deserved to be placed there..

2. setiap kelemahan tu, pasti ada hikmahnya..
-jgn berprasangka buruk dgn Allah..sebab semua yang diciptakanNya ada tujuan masing-masing.

3. tengok nikmat allah yang lebih hebat..
-mcm Ustaz Aagim kata semalam, kita merungut bila gigi kita sakit. walhal, gigi yang sakit tu sebatang je..mcm mana dengan gigi-gigi lain yg tak sakit..kenapa kita tak bersyukur? dalam pada kita sakit gigi tu, kita boleh lagi melihat, mendengar dll, tapi, yg sakit sikit tu jgk yg drungutkan..bersyukur!!

4.kelemahan diri sbg rahmat Allah utk jauhkan diri drpd maksiat..
-contoh, kita maybe tak ada body figure yg mengiurkan mcm Kim, bersyukurlah!! sebenarnya, body mcm tu lah yg akhirnya menarik kpd perkara2 maksiat..Allah sayang kita sebenarnya!

5. sentiasalah bersyukur dan berusaha ke arah perkara yg lebih baik! 

Monday, 9 May 2011

dalam hati ini...

dalam hati ni..
aku msih mngharap dapat scholarship JPA..
walaupun dah 'terang lagi bersuluh' yang 'JPA HANYA MENAWARKAN BIASISWA KEPADA MEREKA YANG MENDAPAT 8A+'..
berat hati rasanya nak terima hakikat tu,
walhal.. result JPA msih tak keluar2 lagi..
berdoa, berdoa dan berdoa je lar yang mampu aku buat..

at the mean time..
aku dah sibuk2 buat preparation nak ke PASUM, 29hb ni..
aku dapat Asasi Sains Hayat!
tapi, tu tak bermakna APA-APA..
selagi aku tak berusaha utk capai 4.00 bg melayakkan aku utk jadi seorang DOKTOR..

banyak lagi ILMU,
banyak lagi EXAM,
banyak lagi CABARAN/DUGAAN,
banyak lagi PERJALANAN yang perlu aku tempuh...

*semoga, semuanya dipermudahkan..

Thursday, 28 April 2011

*the latest!

hehehhe..da lama tk berblog!!
tk de sbjek nk discuss..
especially, after the JPA interview.
malas lar nk crite2 pengalaman interview tu!.!
bukan tak sudi, cuma lebih kurang jer yang boleh dibaca kt blog2 org lain.

klau rajin..
ak post ok!!
KALAU lar..

ok, apa yg latest??
1.smlam check matrik..alhmdulillah! 
tp, kat gopeng nun..allahuakbar!(dekat btol)..
bak kata kawan ak- 'mengengsot pun bleh sampai'

2.n ni berita paling gembira dalam hidup aku kowt!
alhmdulillah ak dapat straight A..
cm tk caye kan!!
ak dapat B+ for my Tassawur Islam..
pstu, ckgu recommend lar buat  semakan smula sbjek tu..
kena lar bayar duit pos RM50/subject..
aku ikut je lar..nak straight A pnye psai..
n kelamarin, skolah call sruh ambik result..

rasanye, tu je lar yang latest pun..

tp, sedang menggu gak jwapan JPA n UPU..
hr tu, memang ade apply, KPLSPM..dapat!
tp, tk prgi pun interview..
sebab aku rasa aku tk de bakat nk jdi ckgu kowt..
wlalupun ak dpt offer sbjek Physics!
my favourite subject..
forget it lar..da lepas..
nak tulis pe lagi ek..

sekarang aku wondering..ape lar Kate Middleton tgah wt ek..
kan kejap lagi dye nak kahwin ngan Prince William!!!

my favorite pictures, among all...

Friday, 8 April 2011

An interview

i was short listed for the jpa interview.
will be held at Ipoh..on 13th of April
meaning..NEXT WEEK!!
need to study so more..
*wish me luck!

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Donating Blood..

well, yesterday was very exciting...
i went for the blood transfusion programme organized by the IPD Kampar.
and i was the youngest!!
but most importantly, the doctor interviewed me..
not me who interviewed the doctor..
that short conversation actually made me more exciting in this field..

doctor: dengar kata nak jadi doktor,betul ke??
me     : ha'a..
doctor: betul ke minat??
me     : minat..
doctor: tak takut darah??
me     : tak...
doctor: sanggup berpisah dengan keluarga, suami, anak-anak??
me     : saya belum kahwin..mana tau cam me perasaannya.tapi, saya tau doktor kerja 36jam..

then, i went for the blood test..and i am 'B' type..which mean, i can only accept the 'O', 'B' and 'AB' type of blood during the blood transfusion..

then, continue talking with the doctor,
doctor: sebenarnya, saya menyesal jadi doktor.
me     : larr, kenapa pulak?? (which make me nervous for the answer)
doctor: sebab life kita hanya pada patient..tak de masa untuk diri sendiri.tapi nak buat mcm mne..saya..

me     : ..terpaksa teruskan..(cepat2 cut..)

lepas je buat buku derma darah, terus ahead ke katil..for that procedure..

nurse: tak nampak sgt lar blood vesesel kat sini. (tangan kiri)
head-nurse: urat halus sgt..
me: try tgok kat tgn kanan? (sje jek sbok2)
nurse: ha..kt sni nmpak skit..
head-nurse: emm, boleh msti jrg buat kerja kan...
me: heheheheh!!

then, here goes the pain part!
nurse: darah tk jalan lar! skit sgt yang masuk beg ni..
me: uuaarrh!! da lar masuk lak darah! masukkan balik dlm badan..membazir jek
abah: aik, mana boleh masuk balik!.

finally, its done...tapi, tak penuh pun!
ok lar..first time!
 for the next post..insyaAllah. ak nk tulis psai the benefit of donating blood!

Monday, 4 April 2011

*this week-Health & JPA

aik, ape kne-mngena 'HEALTH n JPA' ?? 
ok, firstly..
-i'm not feeling very well now..sore throat!!
ni penangan makan durian berbakul-bakul smpai tak ingat dunia lar ni! well, org Perak lar katakan...
but, ade sore throat ke tak..tak bnyak beza pun..
well, between pain n not pain mmg lar ader different but org xkan camnye kalu ak sakit tkak..
spe bleh klahkan ex-headgirl yg punya suara jantan cm ak??

esok, insyaAllah esok ada program donating blood.
akhirnya, dpt gk merasa cm ne derma darah tuh..
quite fear n excited actually!
well, new experience worth more than anything...

n thirtly..
this 8th March is the tarikh semakan temuduga JPA..
hopefully, dpt lar...amin!!
Ya Allah, bantulah hamba-Mu ini Ya Tuhan...

*semoga, segalanya dipermudahkan.................................

The 8 Lucky People..

well dylan, thnks for tagging me..n said that i'm "ORANG PERAK PALING BIJAK"huhuhu!! kalu bijak sgt, cnfirm i dpt straight A lol..btw, thanks again..

nak tag sape yerk?? well, this blog is not recently updated by the owner
so, tak rpt sgt ngn followers2 except you dylan and a few friends of mine..

*but, i think that i'm quite HOT!!
betul what! perak skrang sgt panas..but kat pelis, banjir plak!
kuasa Tuhan, Dia yang Maha Mengetahui..

Thursday, 31 March 2011

let's start it again..

ok, i admitt it! i had never blogging since the spm result..
it is not because i'm frustrated on my spm result,
it did preety well what! hehehe
(riak kjp!)
it is actually, i've been thinking and had a few nighmares on this.
which path should i go through??
medic? engineering? teaching? or else???
i know..
at this particullar time, i should have 'something' of what i want to be in the future..
in simpler word..yes! AMBITION.
but medic is still my first option..
although it has both pros n cons..
for examples, medic is quite tough, tons of sillibus, a very expensive course n you should love it like maddness b'cos you have to face the risk of seeing the dead-surgery-blood n so on.
i've no intension to frightened you guys..but seriously, it is!!
but, think again!
the pros-it is worth!
m'sia requires a lot of doctors have not to woory 'bout the 'pengangguran' things.
the salary..fuhh! rm4K for the houseman..
(like want to cry now.. :'))
n one more thing, the tittle..
imagine this! Dr. Fatin Nabila..

*seem it's like a name tag right? hehe..
honestly, i made this last year..when i was going to sit for SPM.
this is a thing that can increase my spirit to study..yet, my motivation to study harder~

so, my current mood- is hoping n prying for the best..amin!!

Sunday, 20 March 2011

*Resepi Kek Coklat..

it is very simple long as you have the will and the passion of cooking, you will get a better result!plus, this cake is considered as my mom's birthday present jgk~
2 cawan gula kastor
1/2 cawan mentega (suhu bilik)
1/2 cawan serbuk koko
1 sudu kecil esen vanila
1 cawan air kopi/nescafe (tanpa gula)
1/2 cawan susu mentega(buttermilk)/susu rendah lemak
2 biji telur (kalau telur kecil, guna 3 biji telur/suhu bilik jugak)
2 cawan tepung (tepung gandum)
secubit garam
                                                      1 1/2 sudu kecil soda bikarbonat

Bahan hiasan/Topping
450gm gula aising
1/2 cawan serbuk koko
1/4 sudu kecil garam
1 sudu kecil esen vanila
6 sudu besar air kopi/nescafe
6 sudu besar mentega lembut(soft butter)

Cara-cara (kek)
1. Cover-kan dulang pembakar ngan kertas minyak. (i use A4 paper).then, grease-kan dengan butter.

2.Satukan gula, mentega dan serbuk koko. pukul sebati.

 3. Then, masukkan buttermilk, telur, esen vanila dan air kopi/nescafe. Gaul hingga sebati.

4.Time ni, bolehlah panaskan oven.
5.Kemudian, masukkan tepung, garam dan soda bikarbonat.

6. Kaupkan adunan hingga sebati. Tuang adunan. Bakar pada suhu 180 darjah Celsius selama sejam.
7.Bila kek dah masak, keluarkan dan biarkan sampai betul2 sejuk!

Cara-cara (topping)
1. Satukan gula iasing, serbuk koko dan garam. Gaul hingga sebati.
2. Masukkan esen vanila, air kopi dan mentega lembut. Kacau adunan hingga sebati.

3.Untuk melapis, bahagikan kek kepada 2 bahagian. Sapukan adunan pada lapisan pertama dan kedua..

4.Hias lar dengan kacang ke, coklat ke..aising ke...

*maka, siaplah kek for my lovely mama...happy birthday!!

*sumber- Majalah Saji, Mei 2007, page 82, by Noor Joha Ahmad.

Thanks Majalah Saji.. thought me how to be a cooker!! 

Thursday, 17 March 2011

*outing with...

saja bikin panas jek.. tak lar!
actually, mmg da lama plan nak keluar ngan adik aku yang sorang ni..
nama je duduk dalam daerah Kampar..tapi pergi Kampar pun tak pernah!
(by bus...)
memandangkan nak celebrate my mom's birthday by this Sunday, then..kami pun akan keluar esok...
nak buy things for the chocolate cakes, her present and my sister's BFF punya present gak!
some-more..rasa nak beli gak things for facial treatment~
*aku pun tak tau, since when aku start being consider 'bout my appearance ni. maybe hormon meningkat seiring ngan umur yang bakal mencecah 18th kowt! 

by saturday i will update 'bout my chocolate cake's progress..
plus, insyaAllah i will post the pictures too..
tak sabar nak jadi cam Julie back...

Thursday, 10 March 2011

*i'm not ready for it..................................................................................

i'm not ready yet.

masih belum bersedia...
tak ada lagi kekuatan,
tak ada lagi semangat yang tegar,
yang mampu berfikir di luar kotak pemikiran ni,
tapi berterusan memikirkan pro dan contranya...
aku belum lagi bersedia..
itu pasti!..
aku belum bersedia..
nak berceritera pasal CINTA...
masih belum............

*ok! isi form itu sekarang~~


cakap cam da jadi CEO jek~
kehilangan aku-tak ber'blog'

this week is quite a busy week for me..

ada test motor for licence P,

ada knduri kahwin kat ex-neighbor punya anak..that is esok!!

beli no ID BSN for KPLSPM..or Kursus Perguruan Lepasan SPM. hehehe...saje je nak try sebenarnye..
walhal, bukan nak jadi cikgu pun. mana taw ada rezeki??!

 nak isi berapa banyak ntah 'form' for scholarship..
yup, result SPM is just around the corner..maybe 23rd of this month..
so, kena buat preparation~

baking some more kek lapissss..nak bawak esok for the wedding.
bukannya nak kasi pengantin..tapi for mak pengantin!

nak iron baju kebaya for tomorrow lagi...
(tu pun kira ker?~)

*dan sebenarnya, form2 tuh belum completely complete, better aku chou now!!. nak bereskan semua bende ni-

Thursday, 3 March 2011

*it's 3rd of March already!

in any day,
pembaca berita kat ntah mana2 channel tv 
akan announce bila tarikh result SPM 2010 akan keluar..
semua yang sebaya aku dok sibuk lar tanya bila lar tarikh nak keluarnye..
dah berpuluh-puluh kali da dengar
sampai tak larat nak dengar da!
sabar lar!
 lambat ke cepat, result tu keluar jugak!
(pinjam ayat mak aku..)
aku pun berdebar-debar gak..
berdoa je lar.
hopefully dapat result yang best.
senang cakap hope2 dapat straight A..
relax k!!
kalau aku,..
ape lagi??!
cooking n baking lar..
rasa calm sikit...


plan FAILED..
projek bun mentega idaman hati tak dapat diteruskan.
huuuuaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! (>,<!)

gara-gara instruction yang jarang ditemui-
"adun semua bahan hingga menjadi senipis kulit bawang."-what is that suppose to mean??!!
dan disebabkan telah dinasihati oleh Executive Chef- that is my mother,
yang tak sanggup 'mengambil' risiko..
hasrat hati terpaksa dibatalkan!
kesian cacing dalam perut ni..teringin sangat nak makan bun mentega!

but, don't worry..
i have another plan..for her coming birthday of course...
teringin nak buat Chocolate Cake!!~
tau-tau...senang lagi beli.
tapi kalau buat sendir..ada lar 'touch of love' kat dalam kek tu.

well, cara aku tulis kat dalam blog ni pun tak ubah cam Julie Powell.~
yang create cerita Julie & Julia tuh..

aku ni boleh lar diibaratkan sebagai Julie- yang sangat obses ngan buku masakan tulisan Julia Child.
tp aku tak lar obses ngan buku Julia Child tuh sebab mana nak cari buku tu!
setakat Saji and Rasa yang mak aku beli setiap bulan tu pun jadi lar... 
setiap hari ada jer plan nak masak..especially dessert!!

entah mambang ape lar yang rasuk aku ni...
sejak lepas sekolah asyik masak jek..
and gain more weight!!
dah fifty__ oppss ni!!

bila masa lar nak workout nye..
dok rumah bukan nye ada Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan pun...
tapi, masak lar buat aku RELAX..

Tuesday, 1 March 2011


sungguh lar aku memang lar tak de kerja..
since da abes skowla nih, cam tak de benda lain nak buat melainkan fb, tv, makan, tidor..
start je lepas subuh, da on pc or laptop..
isi masa lapang lar katekan!

nasib baik dah start blogging..
bosan sungguh!!..
apsai lar aku tak dpt PLKN??
tp salah aku gak....
dari awal2 cakap TAK NAK!

betul ape??
org cakap- kalau kita cakap NAK PLKN, then, kita TAK DAPAT PLKN..
so, aku cakap lar TAK NAK PLKN..
kowt2 lar DAPAT PLKN...tup2, TAK DAPAT!
(pening suda!)
maka, termakbul lah doaku itu..

oleh yang demikian,
(teringat time belajar BM)
bertambah lar jumlah pengganggur di M'sia...
tak de kerja melainkan 'membelek-belek' gambar orang kat fb n blog..
konon nak wat preference lar sgt!!

dah ar...
aku nak masak!!
teringin nak makan BUN MENTEGA~
ni lar chef terhebat..
menonggang-terbalikkan dapur mak aku....

Monday, 28 February 2011

*bukit malawati

Bukit Melawati terletak di Kuala Selangor, negeri Selangor. Kedudukan Bukit Melawati cukup strategik kerana terletak di kuala Sungai Selangor , menghadap laut Selat Melaka dan Sumatra, Indonesia

ok..tu intro jek k..

disebabkan aku ni pengganggur lepasan SPM, aku pun saje la ambil kesempatan cuti-cuti Malaysia-konon lar.
last2, mak ngah bawak aku ngan adik sedara aku g Bukit Malawati..
emmhh, why not kan? lagipun, bukan pernah jejak kaki kat sana walaupun dah berabad ber'kampung' kat selangor tuh!
first impression aku..-B.U.K.I.T..
mesti tempat yang tinggi, sejuk..emhh, maybe cam kat Cameron Highland or Genting Highland.
nasib baik lar time tuh aku tak teringat langsung nak pakai sweater..kalau tak..Malu dowh!!

then, mak ngah singgah kedai runcit..
ok, nak beli jajan kowt. (jajan tu junkfood- kata orang selangor)
balik-balik..beli kacang panjang!
aiik!! tak kan nak masak nasi goreng kowt atas Bukit Malawati tu..
tanya lar kat Aty (my adik sedara), nak buat apa ngan kacang panjang tuh..
"nak bagi makan monyet.."
alamak! monyet!!
emm,,monyet tu skit je kowt.. (bermonolog sendirian)

ok, sampai2..second impression-
nice place..
best buat photoshot! (ckp cm aku ader je DSLR)
then, masuk Muzium Permainan Tradisional..
very informative...
main congkak jap..

turun dari muzium

jap2..posing lagi!

then, we headed ke tempat nak 'feed' the monkey...
mak!!! banyak nyer monyet.................................................
and kerja aku, dok tangkap gambar jek guna dslr spupu aku tuh..
at that particular time lar, baru aku realize that i'm not an animal lovers...

bleh plak posing ngan monyet2 tuh..

monyet yang terlebih mesra..hehehe

dan aku rasa aku tak leh nak cope dah dgan monyet2 ni yang kadang-kadang menerkam orang disebakan nak makanan yang kita bawak..
lagipun, ada jek uncle jual sayur bagi siapa yang rasa nak feed those monkeys..

wajah 'kengerian'..

aku pun blah ngan nenek aku..makan2 aiskrim..
lagi lar menghiburkan!!

aiskrim seringgit favourite ku...yummy!!!
ok!! i'm done...
then, kita orang headed back to Rawang..
what an experience!! (monolog lagi..)