Friday, 15 March 2013

This path isn't easy, i'm tellin' you!

Assalamualaikum dearest reader..
As you guys know i'm now in UM, the oldest university in the country and bla...bla..bla..
(too much to tell about it. if you wish to, just google it)..
and studying medicine..and bla..bla..bla
(you think i'm trying to be proud?)
no kidding man..when people said medicine is hard, i said them LIAR! (not 'liar' in bahasa, ok.) 
but, when i'm face it..the one who when through it (i mean myself)..its not that easy, i would say..
get it? MEDICINE IS NOT HARD, BUT IT AINT THAT EASY.. (mean the same for some people)
well, i still not give it up, but apparently i'm still keep failing...oh man!! how i could describe this..
if you think this is rubbish, just dont read it ok..cuz i want to spill it out!! (you can consider it as vomit if you want to). i'm warning you..

i though medic is the only think i can possibly do.
my math is worst..simple calculation can even sometimes confusing..
language is even more..identify any grammar mistakes up there? sure do..

and i though by studying in Malaysia is the best decision, if i wish to become a top student in the faculty- its easier as if i just need to compete with my people not the foreigners..

medic is easy if you know how to deal with it..its like a wild horse. you need to know how to manage it, how to touch it, to make it likes you too... if not, bye bye! it will left you. (please be with me~)

maybe there are hikmah behind all this..yup, i'm forget to mention about the JPA thinggy that makes feel so bad, worsen my emotion.. i didn't manage to get JPA at first. most probably i used to reject it.. but it's ok now. i got the money..BUT! i got less than the other..when i checked, they told me that in their record, mine is not Medic but Akademi Pengajian Islam, Syariah! 

so many things going on that sometimes i felt so bad for myself..UJIAN! yup, i will consider it as ujian/ test from The Highest.. i just need to SABAR..  as Allah has mentioned in His Quran:

And be patient, for indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good. (11:115)

Masya-Allah..may Him ease everything..amin~

Saturday, 16 February 2013

be a little positive, please..~

benar, Islam itu mengajar supaya sentiasa bersederhana. 
Kerana Islam itu agama yang sempurna, sedangkan aku tidak.. 
aku manusia biasa, bukan seperti 'plain water' yang sifatnya 'neutral'.
ada ketika aku bisa seperti 'acid' yang sifatnya tersangatlah negatif..
dan ada ketika seperti 'basic' yang terlalu positif..

susah benar untuk aku terima hakikat yang aku terpaksa pulang awal ke kolej. 
yup, perkara kecil yang sangat sukar diterima..mungkin kerana aku perlu meninggalkan keluarga 
dan perlu berdikari semula..
atau mungkin kerana perlu menempuh sem 2
atau pun kerana result yang bakal keluar dan entah apa keputusannya..

itulah realiti.
realiti yang perlu aku hadapi demi mengejar cita-cita
ada ketikanya apabila terlalu mengejar cita-cita,
terlalu memandang ke depan,
sebenarnya kita lupa apa yang dibelakang-
keluarga yang sangat menyokong
kawan-kawan lama
malah, siapa kita ini dahulu.

apa jua keputusan yang bakal keluar
aku akan menerimanya sebagai qada dan qadar Allah
Allah itu Maha Tahu!

sem 2 akan lebih bermakna,
lebih memperbanyakkan usaha, 
lebih mendekatkn diri kepada Allah,
lebih bertambah ilmu,
lebih byk pulang ke rumah drpd merayau entah ke mana :)
lebih segala-galanya..
semoga dipermudahkan.....aminnn!

Friday, 16 November 2012

The Dreams Are Now A Reality

Assalamualaikum and alhamdulillah..
Alhamdulillah for everthing that Allah has given, gives and will give to me..
as i mentioned earlier, i wish i had time to write and tell you everything what i had been gone through after PASUM life..

1.I was offered to further my study in University of Malaya.
2.I was offered to study medicine.
3.I finally got my car licence.
4.Officially known as medical student for 2 months..

i think those are the most obvious and life changing part that that been happened to me recently.
Yup, alhamdulillah. i've almost achieve my ambition- but it took me 5 years to become a real doctor!

If you read Maria Elena's blog,, she posted about dream.
I would say, we have the same dreams- study medicine and studying overseas. But the latter was my priority. Why? I've always jealous when people especially M'sian student who post their pictures in local newspaper during the Eid Mubarak... urghh~ (not annoying but sooo jealous)
plus, my cousin (kakak saudara) study in Japan.. she is my inspiration me to study overseas, but with one aim..'i can study overseas without going to boarding school!'

To be honest, i've almost achieve those dreams, Maria and you all~ until, i reject the offer and went to PASUM for my matriculation.

that is it..the dreams. Allah knows better and InsyaAllah He will give you the best...

*i just realize that my recent post was not that educational..meaning, the posts were rubbish and too "me" stream. i will improve later..till then, assalam..

Monday, 5 November 2012

i wish..

ya, i know...i've been so long not to write anything in this blog. there are so much thing that had happened to me recently..
i wish, i had more time to write this post.
i wish, i had more idea on how to compact everything in a single word..
i wish, u know how much i want to tell you everything that had happened..
ok, sound very sarcastic, huh?
fine..the perfect word that describe everything at this moment is..
i wish, Allah lend me His future for me to tell you everything...


Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Specially dedicated to..

this post is kinda special because it's dedicated to somebody..ok, suspen!
Mohd Nurhazwan or famously known as old friend.
Juan, you may read this..!
no wonder, bila tgok STAT kat Blog, mesti ada tunjuk map luar Malaysia..
sungguh, mati2 igt mat salleh mne yang bce blog ni..
tak 'kisah', yg penting ada org baca..
yg di'kisah'kan ble tulisan di blog ni, dikomen direct..
(tolong mempromosi blog ni)
tak 'kisah' juga sebenarnya..
lega! sekurang-kurangnya, blog ni tak pernah jd tempat meminta simpati, tempat luahan hati, apatahlagi, tempat mengumpat..
tq Juan..

alang2 Juan bce blog ni, meh aku cerita siapa dia..
haha..ready Juan?
Ok, Juan ialah seorang budak lelaki (for sure) yg aku kenal mse drjah 4, mse aku pindah ke SK Tualang Sekah..geng2 dia still menjadi geng2 dia smpai lar sekarang, Amirul, Ikram, Afiq, Firdaus dll. kitaorang tak lar rapat sgt sbb, entah lar. maybe sebab dlu ada gerakan anti-Fatin Nabila kot..
dia dikira famous sebab antara budak lelaki yang pandai. especially Science, mmg dia pandai pon! kalu tak, tak kan lar si Juan ni belajar medik kat Mesir..! yang best tentang Juan, dia gila-gila..tak berubah! takde cam setengah orang yang nk cover2 macho segala bagai..

tapi, sesungguhnya aku berdosa besar kat Juan ni..tu pun setelah Nadia bagi tau aku setelah beberapa tahun selepas hbis darjah 6..Juan yang pintar ni masuk SBPI Gopeng manakala aku yang tak berapa ni masuk la SMK Malim Nawar.. rupa2nya aku pernah memfitnah 'beliau'. Time tu, aku konon jd 'org kepercayaan Cikgu Mail' la.. dia suruh tengok2kan siapa yang bising dlm kelas. padahal orang lain yang buat bising. bila Cikgu Mail masuk kelas, dia tanya aku, siapa yang buat bising? aku pun satu, mcm tak boleh nak menipu cikgu, kata semua orang senyap!! nak jugak cakap, ada orang bising! tanpa semena-mena Juan jd mangsa, bila aku kata Juan yang bising time cikgu keluar tu...apalagi, Cikgu Mail pon suruh lar Juan keluar kelas+junjung kerusi (tak silap aku..) 
Ya Allah,entah apa benda la yang merasuk aku time tu, langsung tak ada rasa bersalah sikit pon kt Juan! yang best, siap bleh lupa plak tu. Sory Juan!
Juan antara kawan yang selalu buat aku jealous..jealous dengan pencapaian 'beliau'. msuk asrama penuh, jd exchange student gi Jepun, and recently jd medical student yang study abroad..perghh!

sorry again Juan kalau2 ko ter'kembang' bce post kali ni. apa pun, i wish you all the best in life!
*Aku akan simpan duit g Egypt utk naik unta yg berharga RM0.50.. =P
Take care, friend..

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Why I Love Photography So Much..?

I believe every person are the same..
they have an equal strength and weakness.
same thing goes to me..
I might be a person that have no talent at all when it comes to drawing..
(my drawings are worst than kindergarten's kids)
and i found that photography is the simplest medium for me to preserve all the memory..
since i still could not afford a DSLR for myself, lomo become my best friend.. (at the moment)
landscaping isn't my thing but potret-ing do..
watching Paul Smith's show last night do inspire my to capture everything that i find interesting.
yup, he is a designer but he become a photographer when he shoot by himself his new collection..

for some people they like to share their experience through blogging, story telling, writing in the diary, facebooking or twittering..
as for myself, i prefer photographing and story telling..
unfortunately, I'm kind of person that oftenly forgot what i said! *sigh
so, having a 'printed memory' in my hand, help me a lot overcome my weakness..
and here are some photos that have become my favorite..

*this is why i love photography.. <3

Friday, 22 June 2012

the real me~

disebabkan 'buhsan' yang teramat sangat, aku gagahkan diri untuk menulis sesuatu hari ini..(ayat mmg skema habis!)
one thing for sure, 
i know myself..
i know what i do, 
i know what i want,
most importantly, my family knows me better (sometimes, they know better than myself)
and to be honest, sometimes- aku agak hipokrit..(for sure)
arrgh, korang mesti dah mcm menyampah kat aku kan..
hipokrit perlu..sangat perlu especially infront somebody yang kita baru kenal..
first-impression lar katakan..
perlukah menunjuk bahawa kita ni keras kepala, kononnya strict pada pandangan sendiri dan akhirnya orang 'annoyed' dengan kita??!
perlukah menunjuk bahawa kononya kita ni 'manja' orangnya dengan cara 'giggle' tak tentu pasal?? 
(sungguh, aku dah lari topik!)

mauk hari ni, dah 2 hari aku baca blog akak ni.. she's a dentist yang sangat suka baking (agaknya lar..). ni blog web dia..-->   Bila Aku Membebel...
 dan, alang2 dah blogwalking tu, aku pon menjengah lar ke blog2 fesyen..
adeh, betapa jealousnya di hati melihat diorang berfesyen.. 
tapi, still tak boleh tipu diri sendiri yang aku bukanlah seorang yang stylish..
ke sana, ke mari dengan DSLR, 
posing yang entah2..
tak ada salahnya..cuma..entahlah! mungkin kata mereka gaya muslimah, tetapi caranya sedikit tidak kena..(tak nak komen panjang2. nanti, aku yang kena sue..)

apa yang boleh aku katakan, 
aku memang selamba habis bila tentang pakaian..
tudung yang tak bergosok pon aku belasah bila keadaan terdesak..
dress. hmm, sejak tinggal kat KL barulah terbuka hati nak beli dress, melaram mcm org lain.
mungkin, sejarah dulu..yang aku pernah jd tomboy.
almari penuh dengan t-sirt dan jersey sahaja..

dan satu minat aku..BAKING
so, don't ask why i gain weight very fast!
here's some pic i recently took..

*blueberry cheese tu, mama yang buat..but, i gave her the idea to bake it, for me..haha
and cupcake tu, Hasnin, myfriend tempah for teacher's b'day..

insyaallah, esok kami nak berpicnic to Pangkor..may everything goes well.amin..